26 FebruaryPosted: August 8, 2011
Pink Ponytail must have told Etcetra that I was weird. The moroseness of the last few days has vanished from her face. To be replaced with her trademark rage.
She demands: “Why did you go there, Appi? You know I have no rehearsal on Mondays.”
Me: “I don’t keep track of your rehearsal days. I just thought we could go out for lunch.”
Etcetra: “So why were you asking Pink Ponytail those questions? Weren’t you snooping around?”
Me: “Maybe I was. But if you were more truthful, I wouldn’t need to.”
Etcetra: “And who asked you to do that? Ogre?”
Ogre: “Etcetra, stop it. I had nothing to do with this.”
Me: “She didn’t. I went because I wanted to find out.”
Etcetra: “Find out what? Why do you need to know all the details of my life?”
And so on and on.
Etcetra: “Get your own life … You are jealous … You don’t understand a thing about anything …. I hate you …. You’ve made me a laughing stock in front of that idiot, Pink Ponytail .. If you think I’m ever going to tell you anything ever again, think again … I’m never going to talk to you again.”
Then she storms off.
Ogre, disconsolate: “Appi, why did you go there? What was the use? You’ve just made matters worse.”
Me: “Right. I’ve made matters worse. That’s really weird. She does something wrong, but if out of concern I want to find out what’s happening, I’ve made matters worse.”
Ogre: “It’s not that, Appi. I know you care. But however much you care; you can’t control someone else’s life. You can’t force them to tell you what they don’t want to reveal. You should know that.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Ogre: “Appi, there’s so much you keep to yourself. About yourself. About people you care about. About what upsets you. And that’s fine. That’s you. I respect that. And we have to accept that Etcetra too has grown up. She has her own life. Her own feelings. We have to respect those too.”
I nod dumbly. Ogre strokes my hair, gently.
Ogre: “Don’t worry so much about her. She’ll be all right. Let go, Appi. You’ll find it easier to get along with her if you let go of her.”
I sit there wondering about how much Ogre knows. About me. And my feelings. About how much she had let go. About how lonely she must feel that neither Etcetra nor I share our innermost thoughts with her.