12 JanuaryPosted: July 3, 2011
2x-y is waiting for me outside the Court.
I grin and ask: “Don’t you get enough of this dismal place, that you are here even when you don’t have a hearing?”
2x-y: “I just felt like seeing you. Do you have some time for a coffee or something?”
Me: “We could go have some lunch. Ogre’s packed me tendli in my tiffin box, which I hate.”
2x-y: “Yuck. Me too.”
Our favoured haunt, the café on Juhu beach entails too long a rickshaw ride. 2x-y suggests a coffee house on Band Stand. We do want to be by the sea.
2x-y looks radiant, relaxed.
2x-y: “I just feel so different after that conversation with Neempatta. I still want Miku. That goes without saying. But I don’t want to go around feeling scared and intimidated by everyone around me. I guess I have just accepted that things are going to be hostile and difficult, and so be it.”
More power to her. And to the Motorbike Man.
But she says: “It’s nothing to do with the Motorbike Man. It’s just me. The way I feel. In fact, who knows if the relationship with him really works out in the long run? He’s younger than me by 2 years; his parents may not really want a divorced woman with a child in their son’s life. But I’m OK with it all. It’s beautiful while it lasts. As long as I am free. And I have Miku. I don’t really care about anything else.”
I’m not sure that 2x-y will always feel that way. I know my own moods swing from absolute confidence in my own strength and solitariness to feeling lonely and needy and craving for approval. Besides, who knows how long it will be before she actually gets a divorce? But I do admire 2x-y for:
1. Not giving up her fight.
2. Her stoic acceptance of her parents’ disapproval.
3. The casualness with which she shrugs off her despair.
I am sure she must often feel hopeless. But she never seems to lose her desire to live life on her own terms.