1 January continuedPosted: January 19, 2011
At midnight on New Year’s Eve, I had actually been alone. After that slightly disturbing dance with So-On, I thought:
1. What if he kisses me when the New Year rings in?
2. What if he is with Sam when the New Year comes, and does not even bother to look for me?
3. What if he is with me when midnight strikes, and he wishes me perfunctorily, and leaves hastily to greet Sam?
I got so nervous about all the various possibilities including one that had So-On shudder with disgust because my mouth stank, that I slunk away into a dark corner of the garden, making sure that So-On could not find me. I was just too tired to cope with the anticipation of disappointment. I thought an assured defeat was better.
I watched the loud cheering, and everyone hugging everyone from afar. I was glad not to be part of the crowd, as I certainly did not want to be hugged or kissed by several unknown people, and ignored and forgotten by So-On.
I called Ogre. The TV was blaring in the background, drum rolls of music, firecrackers, applause, screams of ‘Happy New Year’. Perhaps it was all the noise, but Ogre sounded lonely and forlorn. I wished I had spent the evening with her. At least, she would have been happy.
The next day, when I woke up from a long tired sleep,
Ogre said: “Dodo had called.”
Me: “Why didn’t you ask him to call me on my cell-phone?”
Ogre: “He did try, apparently. But he didn’t get through to you. Or Etcetra.”
Me: “I wish he had tried some more. Will he call today?”
Ogre: “He’s not well. He had flu last week, and still feels rundown.”
Me: “Oh! Then, is he coming home?”
Ogre: “I asked him to. But you know him. He said he’ll be fine in a day or two.”
Then, after a moment,
Ogre: “I wish he would come back. If only for a while.”
Ogre: “You know, Etcetra just came in half-an-hour ago.”
Me: “Really? I wanted to wake her up just now, but then thought, no. She would have let loose on the first day of the year.”
Ogre: “Best leave her alone. When she wakes up, I want to ask her where she’s been.”
So, the New Year found all of us pretty much where we had been last year, the day before.
1. Ogre, hassled.
2. Etcetra, recalcitrant.
3. So-On, inscrutable.
4. Me, confused.