24 DecemberPosted: December 24, 2010
High BP surfaces after 9 days. No, I am not keeping count. That is, I am. I do.
I keep count of the most ridiculous things. Like:
1. When I spoke to people last. Particularly So-On (2 days ago) and Dodo (25 days ago).
2. When I had my last haircut (2 months, 12 days ago).
3. When was the last time I ate a chocolate (7 minutes ago).
4. When Etcetra smiled last (6 days ago).
5. When was the last time Ogre scolded me (ages and ages ago).
So, I am not really keeping count of High BP in a special way. But just as one of those things I do.
High BP: “Appi, want to come to a Christmas party? At my place?”
Me, shrill: “What?”
High BP: “Do you need to be so rude all the time?”
Me, quieter: “Sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude.”
High BP: “Oh, it just comes naturally, then, does it?”
Me: “Anyway, I did mean, what? Why are you asking me out?”
High BP, in a patiently-talking-to-someone-quite-dim-way: “I’m only asking you to come to a party, not a date or anything. Not that I would mind a date.”
High BP: “Oh. Look, I know it must seem like that, but truly, it will not require a great effort on your part to say ‘yes’. It’s only a party. Or don’t you feminist-lawyer-types party? Some Hippocratic oath of abstinence, perhaps, from any form of fun, particularly with the opposite sex?”
Me: “You don’t do too badly at rudeness either, do you?”
High BP: “I do try to give back what I get. I am a giver.”
Me: “Funny, too.”
High BP: “Yes, funny, too. I promise you’ll have a good time. And I’ll keep all the evil, leering, drunk types away from you, in case you are afraid of that.”
Me: “No, I am not.”
High BP: “Well, then, if evil-leering-drunk type is what you want, I’ll send some your way. Though I must say, your taste in men is very unexpected. Come on. Lighten up a little. Say ‘yes’.”
Me: “Ok, yes.”
High BP: “What?”
Me: “You aren’t deaf, right?”
High BP: “I don’t believe this. I never thought you would say ‘yes’.”
Me: “So should I backtrack? And say ‘no’?”
High BP, teasing: “No, no, NO. Believe me, you won’t regret it. You’ll have fun. For once. Despite that ridiculous oath of abstinence. ”
I am not so sure myself about:
1. Whether I will regret it or not.
2. Whether I will have fun or not.
3. Why I have said ‘yes’ in the first place.
But for some strange reason, I am sure that I do want to go. I spend the next 27 minutes, 32 seconds analyzing why. And here are the reasons I come up with, which still don’t tell me why.
1. High BP is aggravating.
2. He is too sure of himself, always certain of the effect he has on people, especially girls.
3. He is superficial, shallow, slick. His seriousness quotient is limited to 1 minute a day.
4. He is spoilt. Since everyone always says ‘yes’ to him, especially girls.